People always ask me why I'm silent. Like i'm neglecting some civic duty by not using my right to free speech. Some are even scandalized how in such times when we are raised to have a voice and when current events demand voices to be heard can one remain mute? Truth is, I choose to dissent by being silent. I distance myself from the people that claim so valiantly to hold the truth. A conviction solely based on intuition. These people that shout with clenched jaws and throbbing veins for hours, days months; a lifetime. Always jumping from an event to another clinging to any cause like a shipwreck survivor to driftwood. i choose not to be an exciter. Not to be one of the sons of the "15 minutes of fame generation". I think it was National Geographic that declared 2011 the year of the revolution. And for good reasons. Leaving aside the people that actually had an implication in changing the course of history throughout the globe, everyone I know is a "revolutionary spirit". Everyone has something they want you to fight along "their side". You keep hearing these pathetic clichees like "you're either with us or with them", not to mention all those quotes about muttiny and noble causes that had been recycled over and over again. The part that sickens me the most however is that these people have no steady or preastablished goals. They just adore the ideea of being against something. The illusion of relevance. Today they're fighting agains the government, tomorrow, the same people will be out in the streets protesting for better conditions for cats and dogs. These misguided people that make protesting a career will fight for just about anything or against anything. Most don't have a clue regarding the purpose, they just sympathize mechanically to any cause. Regardless of what that is at that particular time. All of a sudden, protesting has become a fashion statement or some sort of obscure mean of expression. We are bombarded with pictures titled "M3 and X @University Square durring the Riots", "Taking down the System", "Fuck the System" all described frantically enthusiastic with quotes of course, or with a 2 minute contemplated sentence or just plain lyrics taken from a Rage Agains the Machine song. By now you must see me as this condecending bitter cunt that likes to be a Negative Nancy just for the sake of swimming against the stream. Could be. However the source of my skepticism is actually your inconsistency. A couple months ago, when the riots were full blown, these self righteous individuals acted like they were the goddamn saviours of this country. They kept saying with ridiculous pride that they will stop at nothing to see the government fall. Now, these "heroes" lie on their fucking laptops masturbating on facebook waiting for another cause to get their worthless asses in the street again. I was not expecting them to organize guerilla troops and assault the Parlament. But at least the decency to respect someone's views even if they differ from their own. Some of these pricks even have the nerve to say that the revolution failed because people like me didn't go out in the streets to support their "brothers". These bastard sons of patriotism shouting their nonsense about values while whispering in the back of their heads dreams of emigration. And then, when all else fails, they remind you of the economic crisis.
The economic crisis my friend, did not affect our youth in any way. We're still comfortably living on our parents backs. Most of us at least. Our depression is far more greater that that the economy seems to suffer from. Ours is rooted in the lack of purpose that our existence has. Our whole generation. That's why everyone is biting their nails waiting for the next revolution. Something bigger than before, something to keep us busy for a week or two, to spark a feeling of fraternity among these animals against a mutual foe. At least for a little while because we all know that in any other day of the week, the stranger holding the other side of your banner is just a competitor in your ascencion. I believe speaking out and acting out is complete nonsense and the people who use preassure to encourage you to do so yourself are total hypocrites. Some might not even be aware of that but they are nevertheless. Truth be told, nobody wants to hear your voice unless it supports the cause. it's not just politicians. Even the instigators, the street prophets that claim to hold the truth. We're only encouraged to shout if we agree. If not, go home. It is as if the freedom of speech suddenly crashes into a huge wall as soon as it stops being supportive. So i choose to be a cynic. The mad shaman that nobody listens to. I'll sit in my tower of glass watching as wave after wave after wave of failed revolutions crash and scatter on the streets. There're always the same soldiers at the end of the day; proud like ancient statues always coming home saying "well at least we tried, you don't even have that". i don't nor do I need to because I know change is not written on a rock thrown at some obscure instituion nor on a piece of cloth inside a cocktail molotov. We are the problem. Our behaviour. Our mentality. i remember this guy saying he was arrested durring the riots in Bucharest and then bribed the authorities in order to avoid the legal consequences. And yet this man was out in the streets raging against his dishonest leaders. Truth be told, we're all rotten to the core. From the politicians to the man in the street. We just pick scapegoats to make it easier for us to look in the mirror.
And that was the last time anyone asked me why i'm silent.
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