A Long Lost Memory

I like you. A lot. For a long time now. I don"t want to say I love you, because we never even held hands. We never even kissed. But...
Anyway, you re all over the place. I mean we both are in a way. We've both seen some of the world in our own terms. It just feels that, somehow, you re always further.

Once I dreamt that the earth was flat and you were on the other side. I couldn't shout loud enough for you to hear me and meet me half way; so I got so fat that the earth started to tip, and you fell all the way from the edge of the world into my arms. Then I lost the weight and we raised together two flawless children.
You see, when you re dreaming, there is always a solution. But this sort of things, they don"t really happen in real life.
In real life you wait, you give up, you give your time to someone else. Because you never really know how much space you occupy in other peoples lives.
SO You make promises, to others, to yourself. Some you keep, others you keep to yourself.
I wish I could explain at least vaguely accurate how much you mean to me. To be able to  move through your present in such a way that would make all past suffering worth it. I would have loved to make you proud of your past, to make you believe that it was the necessary foundation of your happiness.
i would have loved to cook for you, to drink with you. To dance together on our four left feet. To do all with you, all the marvellous things I did with people I didn't care that much about.
But I am human and as much as Id want to I can never be the ocean in which you wash your troubles away. Your morning coffee. Your inner city on a sunny day.
Even though, sometimes, you are all that for me.
I mean, there are days, when I'm sick of it all and I just feel like laying down and never waking up, but in those last seconds before falling asleep, a random memory of ours comes to the back of the head and I can hear you laugh, somewhere in the darkness of my room. Slowly I fall asleep, smiling.