i dreamed of the metro. my hands clasped on metal rails. moved my hand to my mouth but there was no cigarette there. a slow anticipation of a future vice. I kissed you there. in the dark engulfing noise. your boyfriend was waiting at home. there was no final harmony to that episode. i wanted to jump in front of something. there was nothing coming. i smoked a million pack of cigarettes from that day. I'm moving along. in trains. buses and airline terminals. in shots of liquor and tea the morning after. I killed my inner fauna. I contemplate for a second my murderous act. and then i drink some more. I earn for certainty...